We’ve been married for 15 years this year. How is that possible!? The other day Crystal and I reminisced about some of our early days in marriage and the fun we had. We remembered some of our very tough days as well. They were so frequent! We were trying so hard to gain any semblance of momentum only to be defeated. One step forward, two steps back was our lifestyle. But we loved it! We made it and here we are today with a lot to show for it. She is an amazing woman! So much more than I or anyone else gives her credit for.
When I think about the value of a great wife, good Lord, there’s just no comparison. Proverbs 31:10 – “How does one find a competent wife? Her value is far above pearls.”
Those words have never been more certain and truthful than today. How does one find this incredible treasure?
Well, first he must be certain that he’s looking for treasure!
Where does one find treasure?
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t found a lot of treasure in my life. I have never discovered anything of truly great value that I have held on to. I’ve never really looked that hard either.
I do know this, you shouldn’t look for treasure in a pile of trash. There’s just no need for that. When you dig through trash, all you find is more trash.
To find a truly great treasure you have to look where no one else is looking.
I think there’s a void of healthy marriage today because men have simply stopped looking for a wife that is treasure. They are looking for a woman to be with, take care of them. We have totally lowered the bar expectation when it comes to the value of an amazing woman.
Whose fault is this?
Culture. Our culture has a lot to say about how this goes down. According to the culture around us today, there’s a lot of self-worth, but there’s not a lot of transferred worth. “I am more important to me.” But when it comes to a Biblical view of relationship’s, Paul declares in Ephesians that a “man should love his wife, like he loves his own body.” That requires an enormous element of intentionality! It’s a different way of thinking. It’s a new filter on the way we make decisions because we are no longer making a decision that’s best for ME, we’re making a decision that’s ultimately best for HER.
Men. Just blame the guys, it’s really all our fault. You can trace that back to the beginning of time. The problem of sin in our culture today is ultimately man’s fault.
Sure, Eve picked the fruit first, but Adam failed in the leadership responsibility God had already given him. If he would have been leading his wife to safety, he would have stopped her from touching that fruit.
From the beginning of time, man has struggled with intentional leadership. We get lazy bones, and we dive on the couch for the comfort of mindless entertainment.
God called us to LEAD. That’s why you have a yearning inside of you that sometimes you cannot understand. If man would simply understand the reality of a woman of treasure and determine that he will not stop until he’s found that treasure and when he finds it to hold on to it with everything he’s got, now that is a blessed marriage.
Women. As difficult as it might be to hear, you have a part to play in this also!
If you want to be treated like treasure, you need to act like your valuable!
Girl, you are a daughter of the King!
Psalm 45:11-The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.”
If a man is not going to treat you like treasure than he’s not going to lead you safely either. Eventually, he’ll be no different from Adam, allowing you to take the fall for the entirety of mankind because he didn’t have the guts to honor, lead and protect.
You must see yourself as the treasure that you are! If you see yourself that way, he will too.
How do you do that?
1) Don’t be found where treasure would not be either.
2) Don’t allow yourself to be treated less than treasure.
3) Ask God to let you see yourself the way He sees you and not settle for less than your worth.
To the guys, I want for you to be able to enjoy a marriage together with a woman who is treasure.
I have it.
I can tell you, it’s the most amazing experience in life.
Every day I am met with a woman who looks in my eyes and is grateful she is with me.
Every day I am met with care and concern from a woman who loves to care for me.
Also every day I am presented with new and ample opportunities to express love, care, and protection of an incredibly valuable treasure. It becomes my delight to be intentional about how I am going to protect, honor, and cherish that treasure. It takes a lot of prayer! Why does it take a lot of prayer? Because when left to ourselves, we always, ALWAYS, resort back to who and what is most important in our lives—me.