Marriage

The 100/100 Principle

Have you ever seen the movie, Jerry Maguire? Such a classic movie featuring Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger. I don’t know how you feel about either of those actors, but I’m a fan of the Mission Impossible Series and someone once told me I look like Tom Cruise, so I have that working for me…or against me. Watch the trailer if you want to know what the movie is about, but the one scene that has become so iconic is that “you complete me” scene in the middle of the movie. You know the one where she interrupts him with, you had me at hello. Yep this is that movie!

I always struggled with that concept, you complete me. It sounds so wonderfully fantastic and amazing. Like something that should be woven into the vows of every wedding. That is, until you actually consider the ramifications of being the one who completes.

Marriage is such an incredibly difficult thing to master. Don’t get me wrong, it’s also the most amazing thing to be a part of as well. Never for a day in my life would I want to continue without my wife, best-friend (with snacks), cheerleader. We are just too good together! I make her better, she makes me best. But neither of us completes the other! We know that and we knew that when we got married and neither of us holds each other to the standard of expectation that we will complete each other. Sure the times without her feel incomplete. When it’s time to celebrate in life, she’s the first one I want to celebrate with. When trouble comes, she’s the one I want to face it with and when we are forced to face those things alone, they feel incomplete.

But the reality is the Lord is the completion of every marriage. When it comes to marriage, two halves do not make a whole. Not in any sense! Two broken people, with the Lord, make a whole marriage.

Every marriage is going to face stress. There will come a time in your marriage when one of you is completely incapacitated and the entire workings of your life will be shouldered by one person. Honestly, this is where most marriages break because they didn’t sign up for the weight of an entire life of responsibility.

They only signed up for 50% of it.

They vowed to commit to staying faithful ONLY if the other did first.

They vowed that for better or for worse but never took into account that worst may actually happen.

I want to have a best marriage. One of legends. Crystal and I want to create a lineage so great that our great-grandkids look to us with admiration, but to do that requires a very poignant understand…that neither of us will be the completing factor. That’s the Lord’s position and we will pursue him for that–together.

We have this joke that we’ve held on to since our dating days. Our goal is to get to play in a sandbox when we’re 80. Every once in a while, you’ll hear us say that phrase 80 in the sandbox. It’s just a simple reminder that we are in this for life, no matter what happens or becomes. There will be times that she has to carry 100% of our life, and then there will be times that I have to do the same. No one looks for those moments, no one likes them. They push you to the very limits of our sanity, but when we make it to 80 and can look back over all the moments that we made it through!? They will all have been worth it.

So Crystal, You do not complete me.

And I will not expect you to.

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