Family, Leadership

Confession time! I’m about to tell you my greatest flaw

I have a flaw. Just one.


But it’s a big one! =) Being completely facetious here because the truth of the matter is that I have more flaws that I know what to do with.

My biggest flaw can actually be a tremendous benefit as well but isn’t that the nature of some of these things.

Here we go…

My biggest flaw is that there is nothing I think I cannot do

You were thinking it was going to be something more, weren’t you? You’re a little disappointed, aren’t you? Be honest, you are.

In reading that, it looks positive, especially in the context of our current society where you see people giving up everything because they are just lazy. People in every culture settle for so much less than they should have because they just give up on themselves. They’ve never disciplined themselves to endure through the physical pain of telling your body that you can. You’ve heard the term “mind over matter”? Well, it’s true right here.

My problem is that I look at every situation and say, “Yes, Yes I Can.” Yes, I can build that. Yes, I can paint that. Yes, I can preach that. Yes, I can go there. Yes, I can figure that out.

While it’s awesome to have a YES I CAN attitude, it also gets me in a lot of trouble. By declaring my determination, I am also essentially making a promise to someone that I will take on a certain amount of stress.

What you have to look at with this declaration of determination is where we are making promises. While the positive is, on one hand, there is a negative on the other.
Lets clear this up. Recently in our church building project, I declared that Yes We Can paint the entire facility ourselves and essentially save a boatload of cash in the process. Keep budget low and provide opportunities for insider ownership, that was my goal.
But not everyone shared my goal, and my emphatic determination quickly turned into a curse that began to make me bitter. It fleshed out on a Thursday night after I took my little girl to ballet practice and after, around 8PM, I went to the building to finished painting the ceiling of the space.
Around 11PM I wrapped up, cleaned out and drove home and on the way I had to evaluate, was this yes worth it? and if so, to whom was it worth it?
Was it worth it to the rest of my family that I had to say “No” to that evening?
Was it worth it to the church that was receiving the cost savings?
Was it worth it to the person that will months from now, walk through the doors of the building?

Each one of those questions is being answered in one way or the other through the declaration of YES I CAN.

I’m at a place in my life, where, for the very first time, I feel that my time is more valuable than my money. Just because, YES I CAN, doesn’t mean that YES I SHOULD.

I’m all about saving shekels but at the cost of what? Does it matter to my son?
In ten years, will he care that I help paint the church ceiling or will he be marked with the thought that, “dad cared more about paint than hanging with me.”

You see how this declaration of determination can transform into a great flaw?
I guarantee you one thing, I’ve learned some things in the process and moving forward, I know to ask these questions ahead of time.

What’s your greatest flaw (if you dare to declare)?
How do you wrestle with situations like this?

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