It was going to be a brief week. Being that school was going to start soon, I had some plans I wanted to do with the kids, namely get the boat back on the water, just me and them. We also had Austin’s orientation that was at a very strange time, Thursday morning for 2 hours. Because he’s making the entrance into middle school, we wanted to really take some time with him and make this transition thinking it was going to be rough/tough for him.
I was surprised when my boss texted me early on Monday saying that he needed to meet with me about something that day. Those kinds of texts always send my mind reeling with possible content.
Am I in trouble?
What did I do now that’s going to get me in the hot seat?
I don’t know why my mind races to things like that but it did and frequently does.
Shortly after arriving at the office, he came down, shut the door and carefully and methodically walked through the most recent developments with our ship campus and what was being presented to us.
We all believe that the Lord is not going to stop growing our Ship location. We’ve talked about the possibility of growing but never really considered it an option but when it’s put in our lap, that changes some things.
It became clear to me that I needed to put my nose to the Word and Prayer and see what the Lord would really have us do.
As I began praying about it and the largeness of the decision at hand, the faith it would take to accomplish such a thing, seemed enormous to me. But what really struck me was that it didn’t make me fearful at all. I could have the faith to forge the way through.
As I went to pray about it, I immediately sensed the Lord confronting me about my faith. He had brought Matthew 17 to my mind and where Jesus confronted his audience with having mustard seed faith. What happened was a man had come to Jesus asking that He heal his son of his infirmity. Specifically,he asked that Jesus free his son of the demon that afflicted him and described medical issues as the problem.
Jesus, frustrated by their continued disbelief, confronted the crowd with his loudest voice, “WHERE IS YOUR FAITH?! How much longer do I stay with you and put up with your doubts?“
Clearly he was trying to help them understand that they didn’t actually need the physical Jesus to believe in His ability to heal. We struggle with the same issues and end up seriously limiting our belief.
Jesus’ Disciples waited till a proper time and then pressed Jesus for an explanation, why couldn’t we deal with that demon?
Jesus seemed like he would have been just fine leaving this conversation undone, but because they asked, He complied, it was because you didn’t have faith. At the end of this discourse He makes this final statement of clarification- “But this kind of demon is cast out only through prayer and fasting.”
And that’s where the Lord really struck me. Right between the eyes, He confronted me with my said faith in his ability to move mountains, but not to sustain me through fasting.
You see, for years, the Lord has been pressing me to fast and for years I have avoided it. I had good intentions! but over and over again, I failed to follow through…because I didn’t believe.
I just didn’t believe that the Lord could sustain my blood sugar problems. I didn’t believe that I could face the god of my stomach and beat it.
So I did what I have been telling everyone around me to do for some time now, I became transparent. Before I could talk myself out of it, I came home and told Crystal that I was going to do it and that I needed her support. Because of my belief in what fasting should and should not be, I refused to tell any one else. This needed to be just between me and the Lord with Crystal’s help.
So I start this new journey of faith and I expect that as a result of it my faith will ascend to new levels broken through the ceiling and plateau through fasting.
What are you holding back on that the Lord is challenging you to power through? Where are you failing in faith that you should be charging triumphantly because the God of all Wonders is the sustainer of faith?