Experience

My lungs are burning

Photo by Valentin Salja on Unsplash

My lungs are burning. I haven’t felt that feeling in months now as I’ve allowed Corona to become my excuse for lethargy. When the virus commanded that all fitness locations be closed for mitigation, that became all the excuse I needed to dive into the recesses of my laziness and give into my desire for rest.
Six months later and I feel every bit of that lethargy in my daily grind because I now suffer from non-exercise pain and can’t make it through the day with any sort of situational clarity and determination.

I’ve always known this was a thing. I’ve felt it so many times before and this battle has raged in my mind a thousand times over the course of my life. The body is meant to be moved, to be stressed and to be put under tension and then into submission.

The most intent muscle you have in your body should be your determination to survive and that comes with mental toughness. However, the reality of what we see today is a victim mindset that weaves its way down through every part of society and into the minds of any unsuspecting people who are willing to give up their rights/freedoms to control and command and be put into a slavery of being a victim and deserving of someone else’s hard work.

Who would have thought that 200 pushups a day could defeat slavery!?

Well I believe it can because the truth is that no one else is coming.

No one is coming to whip you into shape.

No one is coming to demand your harder work.

No one is coming to command your more intent determination.

If you don’t figure out how to get out of bed earlier and put yourself into submission, you will end up being what you vowed you’d never become, all for the sake of fulfilling your obligation to never run a day in your life.

My alarm went off at 5AM on the day I determined I’d start this mess. I laid there listening to it sound off for about 8 minutes before I allowed my feet to touch the icy floor. Everything is icy this time of year and let me just say that now is not the time I’d imagine beginning my own exercise routine. It needed to be warm for that.
Lord knows there’s two things I hate most. Cold and running. Put those things together and you’re living a semblance of hell.
I put on my shorts, UA hoodie and shoes and walked outside where yesterday it was almost 50 degrees, but overnight some storm clouds rolled in and the wind was blowing making it feel like 25 and there was snow falling.

My mind raced by to my days at the gym 8 months ago now and I tried to repeat those same warm ups I used to do every morning. High knees to butt kickers, arm circles to leg stretches, followed by jumping jacks and frog jumps.
Then I started the push ups and pushed out 20 without much effort but I immediately felt it in my shoulder blades and what I feared was becoming true as I realized I had allowed my body to waste for too long and this would be a tough road to come.
I was determined that I’d not be going back inside before I hit at least 80 push ups, so I dropped down to the super cold pavement and did 20 more, this time my arms screaming at me for relief and I’m wondering how on earth I have become this weak.

It was time for the run and I started the 1/4 mile around the neighborhood where we live at the time. My lungs immdiately shouting curse words at my mind telling me this is dumb and that I’m a fool. You see there is where we find most of our defeat, on the lonely stretches of a dark morning when there is no one else there telling you to strive harder, push farther and we begin to immediately fall into the feeling of pain and discomfort.

Without determination, the most a person will ever do is sit. That’s why we see so much in our culture today of meaningless nothing. People refuse to push themselves beyond their comfort despite the fact that inside them they have the most powerful, resilient weapon known to man. Without any training in determination, they become puddles of pathetic excuses that won’t ever face something that is tougher, harder.

We are created to endure.

I am convinced that there is almost nothing that, given the right training and preparation, that a person cannot withstand. We’ve actually trained our minds to walk the opposite direction and have convinced ourselves that we should never suffer anything. What ends up happening is that all difficulty ends up looking wrong and suffering would never be found among our mindset or lifestyle.

The quest for comfort has never been stronger and that’s why when corona started, my mind raced toward relief. I had convinced myself that I deserved comfort and needed to escape what I felt was a form of suffering.

I made my run around that 1/4 mile stretch, my lungs yelling at me the entire time. Near the end, my legs were telling me how much of a fool I was, but I pressed out, silencing their screams for my attention.

I know a 1/4 mile is laughable, especially to my ultra-marathon friends, but I’m not out to impress, I’m out to put into submission.

When I got back to my driveway, huffing and puffing, my lungs burning as they haven’t felt this kind of resistance in so long, I must dive back into more push ups as I still owe 40 more before heading inside.

As I put my nose to pavement, I’m now really wondering why on earth I want this.

Do I?

Is this really worth the pain?

I mean the coffee was already hot inside and ready for me. No one knows I’m doing this and I’ve made the promise to no one. No one even knows I’m up right now. It would be nothing to just go back to bed and forget the whole thing happened.

Nope.

I am not going to allow my mind to control me like that. It’s time for that muscle to be put into submission.

So I pounded out my next 20 and then did it again. I made it to my 80, but that’s just for this morning, I still owe 120 push ups before the day is done and honestly, I plan to have that in by noon today.

I don’t believe much in accountability. I think accountability is just a way for a person to become a liar and I’d rather be found lethargic than a liar.
No one is going to raise the bar on you. No one is coming to push you harder, so you’re either going to find the way to push yourself or it’s not ever going to happen.

Can I point out some truth to you?

Only you know the dream you have inside you.

Only you can pinpoint the passion that builds in your bones that also scares the daylights out of you.

So get up and get it done. No more excuses. No more delay. No more restraint.

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