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Why God, WHY?

Photo by Ken Treloar on Unsplash

Over the past few months, our family has been going through a bit of a difficult season. It’s been almost horrendous to face what God has allowed us to process through and we’ve learned a lot of lessons as a result of it. Here are a few of those things.

I’m a very “God-centered” person. I say it that way because I despise the word “religious”. I believe that everything we go through in life is a result of God. If he’s all knowing, which in point of fact I believe him to be, then he had to have known what we would face. I wish that God would clue us into what is happening in our lives just a little bit more, but he does not. He doesn’t owe that to us.
Think about it, there are things that you do that you kids wonder, why are we doing this, why are you allowing this and what do you tell them? You need to just trust me! What I’ve learned through this season is that there are things that we choose and there are things that God allows. I’ve learned, through this season that rather than asking, “why God why” are we going through this, I’m learning to ask, “what God what” do you want to teach us.

When we stick with why God why we end up making it more about us than what it should be. What I’m also learning is that God considers my story or my piece of the story in light of his story that he’s trying to work in the world around me rather than just my world. When I consider my world, my world is a lot smaller than his world. My world consists of only the people that I can see, touch, and feel. His world consists of all of it and I’m just one-pixel piece of his world.

I’m also learning this, that when God allows things that we didn’t see coming, somehow he gives us a special grace to get through it. Through this unique season and Cris and I have transversed, we’ve noticed we have just a little bit different grace that wasn’t there yesterday. It doesn’t take the stuff away, but he makes is possible to get through.

When David wrote the very famous words in Psalm 23, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, he connected with every person on earth at some point of their existence. All people can personally connect with that passage whether it be through death or through a life-changing, unexpected situation.
We’ve got to pay attention to the wording structure he used in that passage. David said to “walk through the valley”, clearly he was helping us understand that we can stay there, we aren’t meant to live there. Not even go camping them, but pass through the valley.

Biblical Living, Grand Point - Ship

Start Talking…

As we continue fighting through this depression, it’s time to put someone in your corner.
One of the most difficult pieces of depression is the feeling that that literally every person is a threat. The tough part is trusting this person consistently knowing they are safe. Let me help in a reverse way. <If you are someone that has been trusted with the information that a person close to you is struggling with depression, than you go to them frequently and put yourself in their corner.> Having worked with people facing depression before, I’ve found that they need to be reminded daily that I am an advocate for them. I needed to connect frequently letting them know that my opinion would not change, that I would always stay in their corner as they process through this confusing and difficult situation.

If you are this trusted person, a couple pointers I have for you.

1) Never, NEVER betray that trust.

2) Always, ALWAYS, understand that hard and harsh words are going to be spoken that typically have no meaning or merit behind them.

`You cannot take personal what may be said. Understand that depression is incredibly painful and you need to be able to sympathize with that. As much as that person needs the grace to not be okay, you need to extend them that same grace. That’s how they are eventually going to be okay again.

Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself.
Depression can be brought on by any number of things, but one thing that seems to be common with all types are the voices that seem to speak to you when the world is utterly silent all around you.

It’s tough, although in the middle of depression, everything seems tough, to fight the voices that shout in the silence but one way to combat this is through talking to yourself. You know what you need to hear. Begin reminding yourself of the truth that you know. When you do have a positive moment, take that time to anchor yourself to what you know to be completely true. A truth that cannot be broken. That way, when you’re in the middle of a crisis you can resort back to something that you established as an unbreakable truth.

For example, in Lamentations, Jeremiah allowed his mind to race to a place where he thought even God himself was completely angry with him. Lamentations 3:1.
He needed the anchor of Romans 8 where Paul declared that nothing could separate us from the love of God that comes through Christ Jesus.

For us, when we were in the heart of this in our situation in Costa Rica, this moment of truth happened to take place in a Spanish Grammar class. I silenced the voice of my teacher and begin writing notes of truth in my journal. I found myself resorting back to that journal entry even years later because it anchored me to something that was unbreakable.

These are not things that are going to solve the problem, but they might just help you when you need it the most. Maybe it will give you a sense of determination for today that will help you with tomorrow.

The most important thing for you to do and believe is that you can make it through this. Morning is coming and soon this will be a thing of the past, but for today, make the phone call, talk to that person whoever they may be and begin the process of healing; for your sake, and for the sake of the ones you love who are standing around you wondering what in the world is going on inside of them.

Have you had some experience with depression also? What can you add that I missed? I’m not going to pretend that I’m any sort of expert on this matter, you know more than I do about this, what do people need to read that you already know?

Biblical Living, Grand Point - Ship

How to deal with Depression

Have an honest conversation with someone you can trust.
Therein may lie the very first problem, how do you determine someone you can trust? The very essence of depression is that the world and all that are in it, seem to be untrustworthy. You need to objectively think through the people that you know and take a chance on having a conversation with one of them. They may not be the person that can help but they can probably point you in the direction or facilitate the contact. Speak up and have an honest conversation.

Let me prime the pump here so you can visualize who this person might be in your world:

Your spouse, if you’re married

Mom or dad, no matter what age you may be.

A sibling

Your Pastor, or a leader church

A coach, counselor, teacher at your school.

If you’re a part of our Grand Point Church, we have specific resources lined up for you and all you need to do is speak the word and we’ll help get you connected. Send an email or make a phone call to begin.

Basically, the person you would trust most in a situation where you know but opening up the depths of your heart you are going to be safe.

When I went through this season, the first phone call I made was to a wonderful friend of mine who lived literally, thousands of miles away.

Over the next months, every week he would meet with us over Skype and we received some life-giving communication to help us navigate one of the toughest situations we had ever encountered and it started with the courage to have a conversation.

That’s step one and it needs to happen right now. So stop reading, the rest of this can be attacked later. Have this conversation right now. You’re motivated, you can see the hope of having someone truly hear your voice, use that momentum right now to make that phone call.